and what a year it has been ...
I'm sitting here with some of the most important people in my life on New Years Eve 2013 and we are reflecting on the past year... the highs and the lows ... and I truly have to say that this year ... 2013 has been one of the shitest years of my life ...
It was this time last year that we discussed choosing a word for the year ... and the word that came to me was... 'CHANGE' and boy did I get a year full of change .... and I realise now that I was not specific enough when I made my choice... I realise now that when one decides to ask The Masters of the Universe for something you have to be very very careful of how and what you ask for ... but on reflection ... I actually got what I asked for I got CHANGE ... and although the change I got was not what I expected it has made me into a much better, stronger and more determined person ...
This year has shown me that I am a strong person, that I can survive, that I have an inner strength that I did'nt see before.. and that I don't need to have a man in my life (changed the believes that I needed someone else to make me who I am)
This year has shown me what a good mother I am (changed my believe that I was not maternal and that I could'nt do this!!!)
This year has shown me what an awesome young man my son has turned out to be ... shown me how truly blessed I am to have this young man in my life... he makes me so proud in everything he does ... this year has shown me what a strong determined young man he has turned out to be ...how he has adapted to the change... and how he has grown because of the change ... and I love him so much more for it... (changed my believe that you can love someone more and more each day)
This year has shown me that I have some truly awesome and loyal friends.(changed the way I see the people around me).. people who I choose to have in my life, people who have supported me right or wrong and been there to pick me up when I have fallen, given me a shoulder to cry and lean on and to offer me their opinions but not forced me to make choices based on them ... shown me what true friends are.
This year has helped me to make new friends ... (changed the way I have reacted towards strangers) to see the good in people I would not normally have seen ... and for these new friends in 2013 I am grateful.
This year has made me more grateful to still have my mother with me, and even though at times she can drive me insane, she has been my rock ... my constant ... she has supported Kelsey and me this year in ways I never thought were possible or that she would be there for us the way she has (I have changed the way I see her) Thank you mum for being there for us ... I know I could not have got through this year without you...
Unfortunately this year has also brought about other changes too and not all of them positive ... changes that have not been easy to accept... the pain of being betrayed by the person you thought was your soul mate and also by friends who you trusted with your deepest secrets, the change in 'financial' freedom, to change from landowner to nothing, from comfortable to struggling to make ends meet, ... but all of these are part of the change and I am not going to allow these changes to deter me from reaching my goals in 2014... in fact all of these things will determine the person I am going to become ... I have every intention of being the Phoenix Rising out of the Ashes, to start 2014 with a clean slate ... I have learnt how to tap into my inner strength, how to accept help from those in my life who are there to help me, I have learnt how to make the best out of a bad situation, I have learnt how to find that light at the end of my tunnel and so with all of this in mind ... I guess I received exactly what I asked for at the beginning of this year... CHANGE ...
I would like to thank ALL the people that are important and special in my life, for their help, support and love this year and I wish all of you a blessed, happy, peaceful 2014 filled with all the LOVE you deserve and may all your dreams come true...
Tuesday, 31 December 2013
Monday, 1 April 2013
Not sure if the time is right yet ....
I realise I haven't written on my blog for awhile and well... I guess since all this shit went down in my life this year .... the last thing I wanted to do was fill my blog with all my woes and self pity .... and as I have made a promise to myself that I am going to adhere to my 2013 word : CHANGE .... it has been very hard not to sit down and ramble on about a lot of things .... and of course I know a lot of people may be disappointed in the fact that I have not 'gone off on one' ... so I guess then I am adhering to the new ME !!!
Sorry all you gossip mongers ... I'm not going to be feeding you anything that you can sink your teeth into ... well not just yet ... but I just knew it was time for me to get back on my bicycle ...
The whole reason behind me starting my blog almost 5 years ago was a) to share my creativity and crafts and b) to keep you all informed of what we're getting up to SA side...with the main emphasis being to let friends and family know what we're doing ...
As you have seen I have been fulfilling part A a bit these last 3 months quite easily by posting the things I'm crafting ...BUT part B is slightly harder obviously due to the circumstances SON-shine and I find ourselves in ... so lets see if I can rectify some of that :
SON-shine is as ever the SUN shine of my live and even more so now my reason for living ... he has taken the 'news' as I imagine all teenagers take bad news .... a shift in the bad attitude and even louder music in his ears ... sadly having to say the taste in music has changed a lot ... some very deep heavy stuff pounding into his earlobes .... If and when I am able to get him to open up ... lots of aggro... he's very angry that his plans for his future have been ripped out from under him ... and he's also very disappointed that he won't get that 'TEEN-PAD' he was promised in the 'Dream House' .... because honestly I can't answer his questions about our 'Dream House'.... he gets angry because I can't tell him what either of our future holds .... all I can tell him is that I love him and I will endeavour to do the very best that I can for him ... and I do believe he understands that .... and generally day to day he is his usual self ...
A huge saving grace for both of us is that he is in full rugby training at the moment and he is training incredibly hard and comes home exhausted most days ....
He did incredibly well academically this term with a merit certificate for EGD (Engineering Graphic Design) which is an awesome achievement as he has never done anything like this before and his teacher is over the moon with his dedication to that subject ...although 1 bad result was his Afrikaans ... he failed this term so now there is a strong possibility that he will have to do extra Afrikaans next term as he has to pass the 3 main subject of Maths, English and Afrikaans to pass the year !!!! He has promised me that he will work harder in Afrikaans and I find it quite bizarre as he ended Afrikaans on 61% last year ???? Very strange ... however I am wondering if the gorgeous Afrikaans teacher has anything to do with it LOL !!!! One can't really think straight when one in besotted !!!
He is doing so well in all his other subjects too his maths and sciences were also very good... So all in all I am very proud of him ...
He got some money from Aunty June at Christmas and with that and his own cash he bought himself a 'Longboard' and then convinced his BFF Heini to also get one ... and now on weekends I hardly see him ... H lives across the road from our complex ... well directly across the road is a school and H lives on the other side of the school ... so the 2 boys spend any free time they have skating through the school between our house and theirs ... enjoying the freedom and the awesome weather we have been having ... and both myself and Lynette are thrilled that our boys are not plonked in front of the TV /computers/ game stations all day ... and skateboarding tones muscles etc too !!!!
It's all about looking good with these boys... and my SON-shine is looking really good ....
On my side thankfully work has been hectically crazy so I'm kept busy there and come home way to exhausted to worry about much else other than sleep ....
We are both on holiday for this week ... and it is very strange not to have a holiday filled with things to do, places to go and people to see...
Easter weekend has been very peaceful ... Friday we spent with Lawrence, Penny & Family and yesterday was our traditional Easter Sunday with June and the GANG .... spoilt rotten as usual by June with a crazy Easter Egg hunt, lots and lots and lots of food... lots and lots and lots of laughter and fun with the bestest ever friends in the whole wide world ... I feel so BLESSED.
Sorry all you gossip mongers ... I'm not going to be feeding you anything that you can sink your teeth into ... well not just yet ... but I just knew it was time for me to get back on my bicycle ...
The whole reason behind me starting my blog almost 5 years ago was a) to share my creativity and crafts and b) to keep you all informed of what we're getting up to SA side...with the main emphasis being to let friends and family know what we're doing ...
As you have seen I have been fulfilling part A a bit these last 3 months quite easily by posting the things I'm crafting ...BUT part B is slightly harder obviously due to the circumstances SON-shine and I find ourselves in ... so lets see if I can rectify some of that :
SON-shine is as ever the SUN shine of my live and even more so now my reason for living ... he has taken the 'news' as I imagine all teenagers take bad news .... a shift in the bad attitude and even louder music in his ears ... sadly having to say the taste in music has changed a lot ... some very deep heavy stuff pounding into his earlobes .... If and when I am able to get him to open up ... lots of aggro... he's very angry that his plans for his future have been ripped out from under him ... and he's also very disappointed that he won't get that 'TEEN-PAD' he was promised in the 'Dream House' .... because honestly I can't answer his questions about our 'Dream House'.... he gets angry because I can't tell him what either of our future holds .... all I can tell him is that I love him and I will endeavour to do the very best that I can for him ... and I do believe he understands that .... and generally day to day he is his usual self ...
A huge saving grace for both of us is that he is in full rugby training at the moment and he is training incredibly hard and comes home exhausted most days ....
He did incredibly well academically this term with a merit certificate for EGD (Engineering Graphic Design) which is an awesome achievement as he has never done anything like this before and his teacher is over the moon with his dedication to that subject ...although 1 bad result was his Afrikaans ... he failed this term so now there is a strong possibility that he will have to do extra Afrikaans next term as he has to pass the 3 main subject of Maths, English and Afrikaans to pass the year !!!! He has promised me that he will work harder in Afrikaans and I find it quite bizarre as he ended Afrikaans on 61% last year ???? Very strange ... however I am wondering if the gorgeous Afrikaans teacher has anything to do with it LOL !!!! One can't really think straight when one in besotted !!!
He is doing so well in all his other subjects too his maths and sciences were also very good... So all in all I am very proud of him ...
He got some money from Aunty June at Christmas and with that and his own cash he bought himself a 'Longboard' and then convinced his BFF Heini to also get one ... and now on weekends I hardly see him ... H lives across the road from our complex ... well directly across the road is a school and H lives on the other side of the school ... so the 2 boys spend any free time they have skating through the school between our house and theirs ... enjoying the freedom and the awesome weather we have been having ... and both myself and Lynette are thrilled that our boys are not plonked in front of the TV /computers/ game stations all day ... and skateboarding tones muscles etc too !!!!
It's all about looking good with these boys... and my SON-shine is looking really good ....
On my side thankfully work has been hectically crazy so I'm kept busy there and come home way to exhausted to worry about much else other than sleep ....
We are both on holiday for this week ... and it is very strange not to have a holiday filled with things to do, places to go and people to see...
Easter weekend has been very peaceful ... Friday we spent with Lawrence, Penny & Family and yesterday was our traditional Easter Sunday with June and the GANG .... spoilt rotten as usual by June with a crazy Easter Egg hunt, lots and lots and lots of food... lots and lots and lots of laughter and fun with the bestest ever friends in the whole wide world ... I feel so BLESSED.
Sunday, 17 February 2013
Monday, 4 February 2013
Sunday, 20 January 2013
And now THE UPDATE ...and how 2013 started going downhill so soon...
So after the long holiday ... sadly Nan and the kids left on 3rd January ... Kelsey returned from his holidays on Saturday 5th January ... with the biggest smile on his face ... he's had an absoloute 'ball' away on THE FARM in The Berg !!!! Thank you Cheyne, Matthew and Kaelyn ... for spoiling him and making sure he had a great holiday...
Then it was almost back to reality ... I had to start getting ready for back to work on 10th for me and Kelsey was Back to School ...16th January.
Work for me started chaotically and it's still just as crazy a week later ... we have a new programme that the school is working to and this was supposed to 'make our lives easier' ... well it has'nt ... in fact I'm more than sure the workload has more than doubled !!!
Kelsey is now back and in Grade10... wow what a change ... he picked his subjects last year and he's slowly getting into the new routine of class numbers and period times and new teachers ... so far so good... he's thrilled with his choices and teachers except for 1 but true to form mum has sorted that out ... so here's hoping I have a fairly happy school boy ...
AND THEN ... our (Kelsey and mine) world came crashing down around us on 10th January 2013, not only was the light turned off at the end of my tunnel but the whole fucking tunnel was destroyed !!!... Paul, my husband, my soul mate and the man I love ... sent me an SMS message to tell me that HE has decided that my marriage of 16years and our realationship of 20years in OVER !!! YUP ... apparently he has 'fallen out of love' with me and "he can not see us ever living together as husband and wife anymore. And the best thing for us to do is for us to get on with our lives in our own seperate ways" ... and there you have it !!!
Then it was almost back to reality ... I had to start getting ready for back to work on 10th for me and Kelsey was Back to School ...16th January.
Work for me started chaotically and it's still just as crazy a week later ... we have a new programme that the school is working to and this was supposed to 'make our lives easier' ... well it has'nt ... in fact I'm more than sure the workload has more than doubled !!!
Kelsey is now back and in Grade10... wow what a change ... he picked his subjects last year and he's slowly getting into the new routine of class numbers and period times and new teachers ... so far so good... he's thrilled with his choices and teachers except for 1 but true to form mum has sorted that out ... so here's hoping I have a fairly happy school boy ...
AND THEN ... our (Kelsey and mine) world came crashing down around us on 10th January 2013, not only was the light turned off at the end of my tunnel but the whole fucking tunnel was destroyed !!!... Paul, my husband, my soul mate and the man I love ... sent me an SMS message to tell me that HE has decided that my marriage of 16years and our realationship of 20years in OVER !!! YUP ... apparently he has 'fallen out of love' with me and "he can not see us ever living together as husband and wife anymore. And the best thing for us to do is for us to get on with our lives in our own seperate ways" ... and there you have it !!!
Better LATE than NEVER...
I started writing this on the journey home from Nan's place on the 21st December with every intention of posting it on the blog as soon as we got home and I had access to the Internet ... but as you can see that didn't happen !!! All my good intentions and plans went to pieces once we got home !! So typical of me ... that's why I have to stick with my WORD for 2013... And CHANGE!!!!
Because no sooner where we home in Hillcrest then we were busy again but my damned land line phone decided it was retiring for the 'end of the World' and it hasn't worked since !!! Therefore ....no bloody Internet either !!! oh the joys of living in a 3rd world country !!!
So let me take you back to the beginning of my holidays and give you the full run down to date:
The journey to JHB was rather uneventful ...but incredibly long ... Suddenly son-shine forgot how to use all apple products so it was fun trying to find TB's place (that's where we were dropping granny off) without any sat nav and to discover when we did find out how to work it, it had not been charged and non of the stupid chargers were working in the car!!!It was fun ...not ... And when we finally got to TB's place I discovered that son-shine had not even brought a damned charger for any of the apple products...I-phone, I-pod or I-pad grrrrr....
Once we dropped granny off it was FUN part II ... Find Paul, he had arrived in SA sometime on Wednesday and had stayed with a mate of his till we got up there .. Eventually we found him and it was onto stage ? of the journey... T.G the trip from JHB to Mokopane went smooth ... But by the time we got to Nan's place K and I had been on the road for 13hours ... I was buggered.
As always it felt like coming home ... Lorraine & Andy were as ever welcoming, the kids were excited to see us and wow how they have both grown ... Dinner was Vetkoek and mince mmmmm and of course half a bottle of vino to wash it down.
All K wanted to do was get to bed so he could get up and get to Jembisa .... He was spending the week there with Alex in the bush doing ?..whatever it is boys do in the bush ... Saturday morning we did some food shopping and set off after lunch to drop K off... Of course one has to mention the weather at this stage ...it was BLOODY hot ! By late afternoon I think I was starting to dry out from all our rain in KZN...it was great seeing Meghan and Alex again ... And we met the others at Jembisa ... Gave Alex permission to work K hard and maybe "work" some of that teenager attitude out of him LOL....
Our first weekend there was a long weekend so Nan was off Monday as well ... She had to go back to work Tuesday but only till Thursday when she started her holidays ... Paul and I spent the days with Lorraine and the kids ... I don't think I have done so little or slept so much ... Maybe I needed it cos the more sleep I got the more I wanted ... And of course it was lovely and HOT !!! ...not hot enough for me to swim ... But it was almost there LOL !!! And nights were spent around the dinner table with all the family drinking plenty of liquids and putting the world to rights ... What a fantastic week...
K sent me a message on Monday night telling me he didn't want to come home he was having sooooo much fun !!! He tried all week to convince me to let him stay and even Thursday when we collected him it was "only fetch me late mum"
He made me very proud as Alex said he was so well behaved and even the guests at Jembisa said the place would not be the same without him !!! Well done my boy xxx
Then it was back down to Durban for Christmas ... Nan and the kids joined us for 2 weeks and we had the bestest time ever ... spent time at the beach, swam, slept lots and had a generally lazy and restful time.
As usual Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day was spent at June's with the 'gang' ... the Barker family, Jo-anne and Mark joining us for Christmas Eve Dinner (June's usual Christmas Eve Fare) the Archery's stayed overnight and Christmas Day morning was as every Christmas morning should be ... all about the kids and being spoilt by all, it was as always FANTASTIC ... breakfast for 'the gang' consisted of The Bell Family traditional Christmas morning Breakfast ... lots of yummy food... The Jackson family joined us on Christmas Day for a braai and it was nice catching up with old friends.
Sadly Paul left us earlier than usual ... he departed on the 27th back to the UK .......
Kelsey then went off up to the Berg with his friends for the New Year... and Nan, myselfand the kids were left to spend the remainder of her holidays together... more time on the beach, more eating, more swimming and sleeping. true to form the weather in Hillcrest showed Nan just how weird it is living on 'The MistBelt' !!!
New Years Eve it was just the girls ... June, Irena, Nan, Noreen and myself...with Nicki and Russell... we set ourselves up a buffet table... lots of glasses of wine and some excellent music ... and as it was typical NY Eve weather ...wet,wet,wet ... we hid ourselves in June's garage and we 'chilled' and mellowed out !!!June bought some 'animal friendly' fireworks for us to set off at midnight but that ended in a bit of a disaster as Irena said she believed the guy who sold her them was 'stoned' ... they made louder bangs and explosions than any other fireworks I've ever heard ... but hell we laughed !!!
A brilliant way to start 2013 ...laughter, good food, good wine and great friends ...
Because no sooner where we home in Hillcrest then we were busy again but my damned land line phone decided it was retiring for the 'end of the World' and it hasn't worked since !!! Therefore ....no bloody Internet either !!! oh the joys of living in a 3rd world country !!!
So let me take you back to the beginning of my holidays and give you the full run down to date:
The journey to JHB was rather uneventful ...but incredibly long ... Suddenly son-shine forgot how to use all apple products so it was fun trying to find TB's place (that's where we were dropping granny off) without any sat nav and to discover when we did find out how to work it, it had not been charged and non of the stupid chargers were working in the car!!!It was fun ...not ... And when we finally got to TB's place I discovered that son-shine had not even brought a damned charger for any of the apple products...I-phone, I-pod or I-pad grrrrr....
Once we dropped granny off it was FUN part II ... Find Paul, he had arrived in SA sometime on Wednesday and had stayed with a mate of his till we got up there .. Eventually we found him and it was onto stage ? of the journey... T.G the trip from JHB to Mokopane went smooth ... But by the time we got to Nan's place K and I had been on the road for 13hours ... I was buggered.
As always it felt like coming home ... Lorraine & Andy were as ever welcoming, the kids were excited to see us and wow how they have both grown ... Dinner was Vetkoek and mince mmmmm and of course half a bottle of vino to wash it down.
All K wanted to do was get to bed so he could get up and get to Jembisa .... He was spending the week there with Alex in the bush doing ?..whatever it is boys do in the bush ... Saturday morning we did some food shopping and set off after lunch to drop K off... Of course one has to mention the weather at this stage ...it was BLOODY hot ! By late afternoon I think I was starting to dry out from all our rain in KZN...it was great seeing Meghan and Alex again ... And we met the others at Jembisa ... Gave Alex permission to work K hard and maybe "work" some of that teenager attitude out of him LOL....
Our first weekend there was a long weekend so Nan was off Monday as well ... She had to go back to work Tuesday but only till Thursday when she started her holidays ... Paul and I spent the days with Lorraine and the kids ... I don't think I have done so little or slept so much ... Maybe I needed it cos the more sleep I got the more I wanted ... And of course it was lovely and HOT !!! ...not hot enough for me to swim ... But it was almost there LOL !!! And nights were spent around the dinner table with all the family drinking plenty of liquids and putting the world to rights ... What a fantastic week...
K sent me a message on Monday night telling me he didn't want to come home he was having sooooo much fun !!! He tried all week to convince me to let him stay and even Thursday when we collected him it was "only fetch me late mum"
He made me very proud as Alex said he was so well behaved and even the guests at Jembisa said the place would not be the same without him !!! Well done my boy xxx
Then it was back down to Durban for Christmas ... Nan and the kids joined us for 2 weeks and we had the bestest time ever ... spent time at the beach, swam, slept lots and had a generally lazy and restful time.
As usual Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day was spent at June's with the 'gang' ... the Barker family, Jo-anne and Mark joining us for Christmas Eve Dinner (June's usual Christmas Eve Fare) the Archery's stayed overnight and Christmas Day morning was as every Christmas morning should be ... all about the kids and being spoilt by all, it was as always FANTASTIC ... breakfast for 'the gang' consisted of The Bell Family traditional Christmas morning Breakfast ... lots of yummy food... The Jackson family joined us on Christmas Day for a braai and it was nice catching up with old friends.
Sadly Paul left us earlier than usual ... he departed on the 27th back to the UK .......
Kelsey then went off up to the Berg with his friends for the New Year... and Nan, myselfand the kids were left to spend the remainder of her holidays together... more time on the beach, more eating, more swimming and sleeping. true to form the weather in Hillcrest showed Nan just how weird it is living on 'The MistBelt' !!!
New Years Eve it was just the girls ... June, Irena, Nan, Noreen and myself...with Nicki and Russell... we set ourselves up a buffet table... lots of glasses of wine and some excellent music ... and as it was typical NY Eve weather ...wet,wet,wet ... we hid ourselves in June's garage and we 'chilled' and mellowed out !!!June bought some 'animal friendly' fireworks for us to set off at midnight but that ended in a bit of a disaster as Irena said she believed the guy who sold her them was 'stoned' ... they made louder bangs and explosions than any other fireworks I've ever heard ... but hell we laughed !!!
A brilliant way to start 2013 ...laughter, good food, good wine and great friends ...
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