2013 ...

and what a year it has been ...

I'm sitting here with some of the most important people in my life on New Years Eve 2013 and we are reflecting on the past year... the highs and the lows ... and I truly have to say that this year ... 2013 has been one of the shitest years of my life ...

It was this time last year that we discussed choosing a word for the year ... and the word that came to me was... 'CHANGE' and boy did I get a year full of change .... and I realise now that I was not specific enough when I made my choice... I realise now that when one decides to ask The Masters of the Universe for something you have to be very very careful of how and what you ask for ... but on reflection ... I actually got what I asked for I got CHANGE ... and although the change I got was not what I expected it has made me into a much better, stronger and more determined person ...

This year has shown me that I am a strong person, that I can survive, that I have an inner strength that I did'nt see before.. and that I don't need to have a man in my life (changed the believes that I needed someone else to make me who I am)

This year has shown me what a good mother I am (changed my believe that I was not maternal and that I could'nt do this!!!)

This year has shown me what an awesome young man my son has turned out to be ... shown me how truly blessed I am to have this young man in my life... he makes me so proud in everything he does ... this year has shown me what a strong determined young man he has turned out to be ...how he has adapted to the change... and how he has grown because of the change ... and I love him so much more for it... (changed my believe that you can love someone more and more each day)   

This year has shown me that I have some truly awesome and loyal friends.(changed the way I see the people around me).. people who I choose to have in my life, people who have supported me right or wrong and been there to pick me up when I have fallen, given me a shoulder to cry and lean on and to offer me their opinions but not forced me to make choices based on them ... shown me what true friends are.

This year has helped me to make new friends ... (changed the way I have reacted towards strangers) to see the good in people I would not normally have seen ... and for these new friends in 2013 I am grateful.

This year has made me more grateful to still have my mother with me, and even though at times she can drive me insane, she has been my rock ... my constant ... she has supported Kelsey and me this year in ways I never thought were possible or that she would be there for us the way she has  (I have changed the way I see her)  Thank you mum for being there for us ... I know I could not have got through this year without you...

Unfortunately this year has also brought about other changes too and not all of them positive ... changes that have not been easy to accept... the pain of being betrayed by the person you thought was your soul mate and also by friends who you trusted with your deepest secrets, the change in 'financial' freedom, to change from landowner to nothing, from comfortable to struggling to make ends meet,   ... but  all of these are part of the change and I am not going to allow these changes to deter me from reaching my goals in 2014... in fact all of these things will determine the person I am going to become ... I have every intention of being the Phoenix Rising out of the Ashes, to start 2014 with a clean slate ... I have learnt how to tap into my inner strength, how to accept help from those in my life who are there to help me, I have learnt how to make the best out of a bad situation, I have learnt how to find that light at the end of my tunnel and so with all of this in mind ... I guess I received exactly what I asked for at the beginning of this year... CHANGE ...

I would like to thank ALL the people that are important and special in my life, for their help, support and love this year and I wish all of you a blessed, happy, peaceful 2014 filled with all the LOVE you deserve and may all your dreams come true...